Nightminds (Missy Higgins)

Raised in the Church of Christ, He tend to recognize quickly that there is a fine line to everything. Between being convicted and being a show off, between following your heart and forced religon. And still at age 23 I am realizing more and more that there are still more fine lines to life that I'll never know. My fine line today? Is the disbeliefe that hard times could ever happen to my family an act of faith, or is it just ignorance?

My oldest sister is pregnant with her third child. I believe it was my sophomore year of high school whenever she miscarried her first baby. I remember how I refused to go to Dallas to see Lisa with my parents. I wanted nothing to do with the whole thing because I don't do well in those situations. Today was her big sonogram where they snac for all different things and in most cases they find out the sex of the baby. Now they decided that they didnt want to find out, because we have 4 boys and well they want this one to be special. They did find out, however, that the baby has a significant heart defect. Now I'm not an expert in anything medical, and I'm not completely sure what all of this means.

I do know that the baby has to be monitored, and that the second that the baby is born they will have to go through some sort of operation. There will be another operation at 6 months and another at 2. Meaning that by the time this child is potty trained, it will have had more operations than I have had in my life.

Its times like this that it is really hard to see the silver lining, and it's also times like this that bring me down off of my own life. I can't imagine what my sister is feeling, because i know that its hard on me, and I'm just the aunt. But at the same time, I can't help but be greatful of the heartbeat... in all of its irregularity.